The Profound Mystery

Men Who Won't Lead, and the Women Who Follow Them Part 2

2010-10-29T10:23:00.002-04:00

In a previous post I wrote: "Some may use the obvious neglect of spiritual things by men to justify flipping the roles of husband and wife or ordaining women to be elders and preachers. In my next post, I'll explain why this isn't a good idea." Well, it has been quite awhile, but I'm going to finally explain why switching roles isn't a good idea. Before I get started, I want to invite you to

Pastoring Women from IXMarks

2010-07-08T15:28:00.002-04:00

There's a lot of good stuff in the latest 9 marks e-journal. I thought Jani Ortlund's article was particularly helpful.

Men Who Won't Lead, and the Women Who Follow Them

2010-07-07T12:57:00.002-04:00

In The Pursuit of Pleasure in the Pleasure of Another: A Christian Hedonist Guide to a Happy Marriage, I argue that husbands are "leading lovers" who sacrificially strive to use their God-given status as husbands to benefit their wives rather than consume them. And wives are "submissive helpers" who submit to their husbands' loving leadership. These roles complement rather than compete with one

The Insanity of Preaching

2010-07-07T09:40:00.002-04:00

Over on my church-planting blog, I posted some thoughts concerning preaching. Here's the link for anyone interested.

Distracted by Holiness?

2010-06-28T21:05:00.003-04:00

Can the desire for holiness be a distraction? Or to rephrase the question: Can one's quest for personal or communal holiness be so intense that it is actually detrimental to the Christian life? Before the question can be answered, we must address a presupposition to the question; namely, that holiness isn't God's ultimate aim in this present evil age. In other words, in order for holiness to be a

Excellent Insight Into Gospel-centered Homes

2010-06-01T21:28:00.001-04:00

Timmy Brister gives excellent insight into gospel-centered homes.

Knowing Jesus is Knowing Doctrine About Jesus

2010-05-31T18:54:00.002-04:00

Just a head's up to all those readers of The Profound Mystery who live on the cutting edge of evangelical life via the internet and Amazon.com. There is a huge push in publishing these days, both on blogs and in print, to leave behind all the divisive and constrictive doctrines about Jesus - things like church structure and authority, substitutionary atonement and Divine wrath. The reason for

Is Youth Ministry Broken?

2010-04-25T13:28:00.002-04:00

Off the topic of marriage, but I couldn't resist linking to this excellent series of articles on youth ministry. They point out a lot of issues that I've thought for a long time but haven't put into writing. It's amazing to me how sacred youth groups are to churches when they have so little fruit on the tree long term.

Paul the Antinomian

2010-03-02T10:18:00.002-05:00

Here's a little quote from our dear brother Paul:"Or do you not know, brothers—for I am speaking to those who know the law—that the law is binding on a person only as long as he lives? For a married woman is bound by law to her husband while he lives, but if her husband dies she is released from the law of marriage. Accordingly, she will be called an adulteress if she lives with another man while

When Radical Amputation is Wrong

2010-02-14T17:11:00.004-05:00

"You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin

Pathetic Husbands and Hindered Prayers

2010-01-26T13:50:00.002-05:00

Do you think God holds a grudge? If you sin and seem to get away with it, does God come back to get you in another area? What about for Christians whose sins have been forgiven, and the wrath of God against them has been forever assuaged by Christ? Of course, we're all familiar with lying in the bed one has made and accepting the consequences for one's actions. But does our sin personally affect

Ortlund: How to Wreck Your Church in Three Weeks

2010-01-25T08:37:00.003-05:00

I don't usually post church-type things on this blog, but I'll make an exception with this recent Ray Ortlund post.How To Wreck Your Church In Three WeeksRay Ortlund: How to wreck your church in three weeks: Week One: Walk into church today and think about how long you’ve been a member, how much you’ve sacrificed, how under-appreciated you are. Take note of every way you’re dissatisfied

Our Ability to Love Virtuously is Utterly Trashed

2010-01-22T22:44:00.002-05:00

Our ability to love virtuously is utterly trashed. Radical statement, I know. But this statement is more than my usual disregard for nuance. I carefully measured every word before writing it. As we've been looking at love as a progression of phases, I'm pretty sure you've come to a disturbing conclusion if you've read carefully. We don't love the right things with the right intensity, and most of

The Gospel and Virtuous Love

2010-01-21T09:44:00.002-05:00

The gospel is the only life-giving force in the world. Everyone is born under a sentence of death. The wages of sin is death and everyone sins, so all die. When sinners are given "the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ" (2 Cor. 4:6), part of that knowledge of God's glory is his infinite love. God's love "has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit

Love and Marriage... And Counseling

2010-01-19T09:06:00.003-05:00

In the previous four posts about love, I proposed that love is best defined as a progression of phases: Affection... Desire... Inclination of Focus... Action. In the next few posts, I'll lay out some of the implications of this definition for marriage and marriage counseling.Marriage Counseling Along the ProgressionLet's suppose a couple comes to see me. They're struggling in their marriage. I

What is Love? Part 4

2010-01-18T10:22:00.002-05:00

With Valentine's Day quickly approaching, I'm sharing a series of posts on love taken from my book on marriage. In order for today's post to make the most sense, I'd recommend reading parts one, two and three first. I believe a concept as complex as love is best described as a progression of phases. I think love develops along a chain from one phase to the next. It's sequential. I think love (

Be Content!

2010-01-16T23:05:00.003-05:00

Here's a short post for the short-attention span people struggling through the more lengthy love posts."3:1 Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?” 2 And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, 3 but God said

What is Love? Part 3

2010-01-15T09:50:00.002-05:00

With Valentine's Day quickly approaching, I'm sharing a series of posts on love taken from my book on marriage. In order for today's post to make the most sense, I'd recommend reading parts one and two first. I believe a concept as complex as love is best described as a progression of phases. I think love develops along a chain from one phase to the next. It's sequential. I think love (both

What is Love? Part 2

2010-01-14T13:39:00.002-05:00

Yesterday I started a series of posts on love. In order for today's post to make sense, I'd recommend reading What is Love? Part 1 first. In part one I put forth the idea that a concept as complex as love is best described as a progression of phases: All love begins with an affection... from there it may or may not develop into a desire... if a desire is strong enough, it may or may not proceed

What is Love? Part 1

2010-01-13T10:25:00.003-05:00

Valentine's Day is quickly approaching. I'm doing a Pursuit of Pleasure in the Pleasure of Another conference again this Valentine's Day, so I'm thinking about love and marriage more intensely right now. I thought I'd share excerpts from the book for your consideration. In these posts, I'll lay out my definition/ description of love. I know these posts are longer than usual, but don't let that

Outlawing Emotional Abuse?

2010-01-09T19:16:00.001-05:00

This is an interesting story. Is this necessary? It is even doable? What do you think?

Handling Conflict Head-on but Humbly

2010-01-07T10:08:00.003-05:00

Conflict.Powerful word. Some people are scared of it and will go to any extreme to avoid it. Others love it and will sacrifice anything for the thrill of being in it. It brings out the best and worst in all of us, providing the opportunity to empty ourselves of our rights for the good of another or assert ourselves at another's expense. It comes in many different forms, from world war enveloping

Simple Beauty

2010-01-07T10:02:00.001-05:00

Sometimes I am stunned by the simple beauty of my wife's writing. Like today.

People are Starving for the Greatness of God

2010-01-04T10:00:00.002-05:00

"So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate. Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths" (Genesis 3:6)

The Day Alone

2009-12-17T20:07:00.002-05:00

Anyone who knows me knows my fascination with everything written by Dietrich Bonhoeffer. Bonhoeffer was a German pastor in the mid 1900's who died at the hands of the nazi's at the close of WWII. While I disagree with some important points of his theology, the one thing I find myself in nearly complete agreement with is his excellent book, Life Together. This book flowed from his practical

What is a Woman's High Calling?

2009-11-07T20:11:00.002-05:00

I've been reading some interesting stuff on the net lately about spouse roles. Only recently have I been struck by a disturbing theme that seems to be quite common. The theme has been there all along, I suppose. But only recently have I seen it as off-based. I'm not going to give a list of links and specific quotes because I don't want to seem like I'm picking on anyone, and it's quite a common

Is Divorce a Bigger Sin Than Adultery?

2009-07-28T09:17:00.002-04:00

Statement 1: Adultery is a tragic betrayal of trust and an evil violence done to a marriage covenant. There is never an excuse for it and that sin alone is enough to send a person to hell for all eternity without a Savior to cover for it. Statement 2: Divorce is a tragic betrayal of trust and an evil violence done to a marriage covenant. There is never an excuse for it and that sin alone is

Is the "Exception Clause" a Pastoral Pass on Adultery?

2009-07-24T15:15:00.002-04:00

Here are some provocative thoughts about marriage, remarriage and divorce. Do you think these are good points?

You Don't Have to Yell

2009-07-17T18:28:00.001-04:00

Here's a point I agree with absolutely.

A Scalpel or a Sword: Surgery or Slaughter?

2009-04-23T13:37:00.007-04:00

What's the purpose of the Bible? What can a son or daughter of Adam expect from soaking in the Scriptures? This is an important question because we go to the Bible, not only with preconceived ideas about what it says, but also with predetermined expectations about what it will deliver. This is definitely seen in preaching and counseling. Preachers often hear things like, "I wasn't being fed over

Why is Sex Such a Sore Subject?

2009-03-13T21:44:00.004-04:00

"When she carried on her whoring so openly and flaunted her nakedness, I turned in disgust from her, as I had turned in disgust from her sister. Yet she increased her whoring, remembering the days of her youth, when she played the whore in the land of Egypt and lusted after her paramours there, whose members were like those of donkeys, and whose issue was like that of horses. Thus you longed for

Why Most Marriage Helps Don't Help

2009-03-06T09:42:00.003-05:00

I'm reading Christless Christianity by Michael Horton. This is a very good book. Horton is professor of systematic theology and apologetics at Westminster Seminary in California. The premise of his book is that much of American Christianity has given up the gospel of the imputed righteousness and substitutionary atonement of Jesus Christ for a false gospel of "moralistic, therapeutic deism." The

Should Boys Wrestle Girls?

2009-03-05T14:19:00.001-05:00

John Piper says no, and rightly so.

Real Help for Those Hurting Financially

2009-02-26T12:37:00.002-05:00

I promise I have some substantive posts coming in the near future. In the meantime, if your family is feeling the financial crunch, perhaps a quick trip to Japan's god of poverty might do the trick. It's apparently working for many already.

A Limit on Idiots

2009-02-21T17:25:00.002-05:00

Shouldn't we limit the number of idiots allowed on the planet, what with all the environmental concerns running rampant in the world today? Why is it that all the wackos in the world who want to limit other people's right to existence are never concerned enough to start by killing themselves? What am I talking about? This.

Most Married Woman in the World

2009-02-19T15:40:00.001-05:00

Wow. This article is interesting. If you marry once for love, and again for money, what do you marry your 23rd time for?

Love Dare Review

2009-02-04T11:36:00.005-05:00

I just read the Love Dare book everybody in churchianity is talking about. My wife brought it home for me yesterday evening (at my request). It took me a few hours to read it cover to cover. It consists of a forty day series of devotion-type writings, a dare to implement some challenge from the authors and a journal to record the outcomes and lessons learned. I'll give a preliminary thought and

When a Wife Should NOT Submit

2009-01-30T20:46:00.004-05:00

A short trip around the Christian blogosphere will reward one with various opinions on when a wife should and shouldn't be willing to submit to her husband. Is she supposed to be a mindless doormat with no opinion? Sometimes the counsel is good, and sometimes not so much. I base my assessment of good or bad counsel on how much Christ is kept at the center. I often see women banding together with

Iceland Revisited

2009-01-30T09:10:00.003-05:00

The one true God as he truly is is better than a thousand gods of our own design. A few days ago I posted a little thought about Iceland's economic and governmental collapse. It seems my sense of irony left a bad taste in at least a couple people's mouths. However, I think the issue is worth exploring a little because we all will struggle with difficult times at some point in our lives. How do we

Should All Christians Homeschool?

2009-01-28T09:37:00.003-05:00

Someone asked the question, "What's your view on homeschooling?" in the comment section of my post on going secular for righteousness' sake. To give that question the thought it deserves, I figured it would be better to write a post on it than a book in the comment stream. I'm no expert on this subject, and there are differing opinions on what to do. For example, in the denomination to which our

Ironic: Is Iceland Still the Best Place to Live?

2009-01-26T14:15:00.001-05:00

Okay, this has nothing to do with anything except further proof that God's sense of humor is still intact. Only God could orchestrate the irony of collapsing the government and economy of the nation that the U.N. recently assured everyone was the best place in the world to live. Truth is stranger than fiction when all the gods of the peoples are worthless idols.

Going Secular for Righteousness Sake

2009-01-26T09:36:00.002-05:00

Today I'd like to give some missional advice to all recovering fundamentalists. What I'm going to suggest will be freeing to some and offensive to others. But I think I'm on solid ground. I'll start with a disturbing text of Scripture."It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that is not tolerated even among pagans, for a man has his father's wife. And you

Heavenly-minded Husbands

2009-01-22T14:25:00.002-05:00

"Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who

Women and Abuse?

2009-01-22T08:55:00.001-05:00

Hit this link and tell me what you think.

Heavenly-minded Submission

2009-01-21T09:13:00.002-05:00

"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands" (Ephesians 5:22-24).These are three of the most controversial verses in Scripture. Why? Because these verses tell a woman to

Jesus: Family Unfriendly

2009-01-16T09:58:00.007-05:00

We have family friendly radio stations, family friendly movies, family friendly churches and family friendly businesses. Some are so family friendly they "focus on the family." But I have to ask: Is Jesus family friendly? The reason I ask this question is because, it seems to me, there is a type of family friendliness that kills conviction. There is a type of focus on the family that is good. And

Should Men Work Outside the Home?

2009-01-14T13:03:00.001-05:00

Yes. Next question.

Should Women Work Outside the Home?

2009-01-14T10:59:00.005-05:00

Okay, here's the question everyone loves to answer. You can't win no matter what you say, because someone will be offended either way. But if your church is interested in living for God's glory, then this question will come up because I believe husbands and wives want to know that the choices they make are right.I must admit off the bat that I've been all over the map on this issue and have even

Hosea: The Whore's Husband Cont.

2009-01-13T13:32:00.004-05:00

Is there anything that God doesn't have the right to do? That's the question I asked yesterday concerning the Old Testament prophet, Hosea. God told Hosea to marry a whore and raise a family with her. There are interpreters who think that such a command by God would not fit into his character or purposes. I disagree.John Calvin's theory is that the marriage was in a vision for Hosea to act out

Hosea: The Whore's Husband

2009-01-12T14:23:00.011-05:00

Is there anything that God doesn't have the right to do? Would anything that he expects from us impugn his character? While philosophers and theologians will argue back and forth, trying to wrap their finite and fallible minds around God's parameters, the Bible seems to offer no substantial relief. Consider one of the most perplexing books in the Bible: Hosea. I'll divide this post into two parts

Hospitality

2009-01-11T18:09:00.000-05:00

Here's a good little line about hospitality.

Hypocrite!

2009-01-10T19:19:00.003-05:00

Hypocrite. It might just be the only insult worthy of a second thought in our pluralistic culture. No one wants to be thought of as a hypocrite. And most Christians would be satisfied if the word had died with the Pharisees. But it hasn't. It's still alive and well and messing with people's minds today. In my last post I shared the not-so-fictional fictional account of a man who was divorcing his

Love on Trial

2009-01-09T09:46:00.009-05:00

"I've finally found someone who makes me happy," he said with a dreamy confidence."But you're married," his pastor reminded him."Well, it's not like we're husband and wife; we don't live like it anyway.""Then you need to work on that instead of looking for someone else.""We've been through all that, we're past all that. Besides, I wasn't looking for anyone. God brought Julia into my life for a

Rejoicing Rightly in Christian Hedonism

2009-01-08T14:11:00.006-05:00

Christian Hedonism is a wonderful way to explain life, and it has opened my eyes to an entire universe of wonder that I was blind to for the first several years following my conversion. There is not one aspect of my life that CH doesn't influence, from the way I preach and counsel to the way I love my wife to the way I cook a steak on the grill. However, CH can be a very cruel taskmaster for

That's Life, Man

2009-01-07T13:36:00.003-05:00

One would have to live in a desert without senses to not see the drama triangle of Brad Pitt, Jennifer Anniston and Angelina Jolie. Here's some news from the front lines in the magazine W:"What people don't understand is that we filmed ['Mr. & Mrs. Smith'] for a year," he told the publication. "We were still filming after Jen and I split up. Even then it doesn't mean that there was some kind of

The Cross Work of Christ

2009-01-07T09:26:00.003-05:00

When Jesus died on the cross, multiple things were happening through that one event. It's difficult to boil the cross down to one thing that was accomplished there. The cross is the climax of man's existence on earth and the fulfillment of everything written in the Old Testament. There are many different historical and biblical themes that converge on the cross. Here are several things that Jesus

Can Anything That Difficult be True?

2009-01-03T14:53:00.005-05:00

We live in such a comfortable country, with such amazing temporal prosperity, indoctrinated with so much therapeutic garbage, bombarded by messages espousing perpetual personal satisfaction at any cost that I doubt the following text of Scripture will even penetrate our ears.3 And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?” 4 He answered,

Is Looking at Porn the Same as Adultery? Continued

2008-12-30T16:52:00.007-05:00

I asked the question, "Is looking at porn the same thing as adultery, and therefore a biblical grounds for divorce? I promised you gymnastics to answer the question. Here is the verse, Matthew 19:9: "And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife except for sexual immorality, and marries another commits adultery." Now for the gymnastics. Matthew uses a word for sexual immorality, not adultery in

Is Looking at Porn the Same as Adultery?

2008-12-29T19:53:00.004-05:00

Is looking at pornography the same thing as adultery, and therefore, a justifiable cause for divorce? We'll look at this question over two posts. The question itself comes from an inference drawn from Matthew 5:28. "But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Couple that verse with what Jesus says in Matthew 19:9 -

The Gospel and the Poor

2008-12-19T21:12:00.002-05:00

Timothy Keller, pastor of Redeemer Presb. Church in NYC, has written an excellent journal article on how the gospel affects giving to the poor. It's a little long, but worth working through. Keller is one of the most respected voices for missional-type thinking in the church today. If you notice that I occasionally link to other blogs, sites, etc., it's because I find others write things that I

John Piper - Sex Guru

2008-12-19T20:33:00.001-05:00

John Piper has some great thoughts about mismatched sexual desire between a husband and a wife.

Last Minute Gift Idea

2008-12-18T16:09:00.002-05:00

If you're having a hard time thinking of a last minute gift, consider Spectacular Sins by John Piper. This book just might be Piper's best book yet (that's like trying to rate one of Tiger Woods's shots as better than another). The book is tiny and short for your lazy reading friends and family - just over 100 small pages. But the message is anything but small. A little quote to tease you. "I am

Our Desperate Daily Need

2008-12-11T13:34:00.003-05:00

“Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. For we have come to share in Christ, if indeed we hold our original

Some Awesome Arrows

2008-12-08T20:20:00.003-05:00

"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!" (Psalm 127:3-5)

One Point of Incompatibility

2008-11-20T09:59:00.002-05:00

Here's a new spin on the e-harmony 56,345,907 points of compatibility. They now must provide match-making services to those seeking same-sex partners. I guess compatibility trumps anatomy. On a similar note, Tony Jones, who has had a difficult time nailing down the specifics of the gospel, now believes "that GLBTQ [people who are gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender/transsexual, queer] can live

A Titanic Love

2008-11-18T21:27:00.003-05:00

I thought I'd share some thoughts I've been having about the Titanic. Yes, the ship that sank in the Atlantic Ocean. The Titanic was "unsinkable" by all estimations of the day. But on April 14, 1912, the ship struck an iceberg. Within three hours, all that was left of the Titanic was around 700 people in lifeboats. The rest of the roughly 2200 people on board succumbed to the icy waters. The book

Driscoll on Intimacy

2008-11-11T19:24:00.002-05:00

I think this sermons series by Mark Driscoll on the Song of Songs is well worth the time it takes to watch them. Here is a sample. Careful if the kiddies are around though.

Dining at Death's Door

2008-11-10T09:14:00.005-05:00

People have been on me to write something. That doesn't usually motivate me very well. With many words comes much sin, so I try not to write if I don't have anything productive to say. Rambling can be dangerous. But today I have something to say that I think men need to hear.For at the window of my house I have looked out through my lattice, and I have seen among the simple, I have perceived

Pursuit of Pleasure Marriage Retreat

2008-10-23T17:28:00.004-04:00

Tomorrow and Saturday, I will be leading a Pursuit of Pleasure marriage retreat for a church in Anderson, Indiana. Please pray that God would work mightily, not just to give people a different way of thinking about marriage, but maybe even a whole new way of looking at life. Though everyone is a hedonist by nature, not everyone knows they are. When Christians are awakened to the blessed reality

Be a Light

2008-10-08T21:29:00.003-04:00

Have you ever thought about this text?13 “You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people's feet. 14 “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives

Too Proud for Sex

2008-10-08T20:24:00.003-04:00

I've been thinking about my last post because it's an issue that I think most married folks deal with at some point in their marriage. I tried to show how Jesus Christ can help us see the chore of sex from another perspective. But I wasn't satisfied with leaving it at that. I think we can get right to the root of this issue by looking at one human flaw - the human flaw, really - pride.Of course,

When Sex is a Chore

2008-10-01T19:43:00.006-04:00

What do you do when sex becomes a chore? Jon Foreman, the brilliant lead singer of Switchfoot, wrote a song with the line: "Sex is a grand production, but I'm bored with that as well; ahh ahh ahh, Lord save me from myself." There's a lot of truth wrapped up in that line. A lot. First, sex is a very grand production isn't it? One would think that sex is the center of the universe. So much is

A Humble Musing Worth Reading

2008-09-06T18:26:00.003-04:00

I would recommend folks to check out this good blog post that has inspired many comments.

A Day in the Life

2008-09-06T16:12:00.004-04:00

No lie. No exaggeration. Woke up. Got kids dressed. Ate breakfast. Left dishes in the sink. Left laundry unfolded on the living room couch. Closed Venetian blind on front window so anyone looking in wouldn't be offended. Left at 9:30 am to Winchester to pass out flyers for an upcoming church event. Came home at 4:00 pm. Met many new nice people, including a very nice man who invited me in to see

The Dirty Plate Club

2008-08-30T13:36:00.007-04:00

Recent events have inspired my wife to write the book I've been saying needs to be written. When I wrote The Pursuit of Pleasure in the Pleasure of Another, one of my primary goals was to help couples take their eyes off each other and their piece of the American dream, and work together as a team to advance the Gospel in their circles of influence. This is the subject of the last chapter of the

It's Good to Get Lost

2008-08-23T09:46:00.002-04:00

My wife and another couple from church went to an incredible concert last night. We had great seats front and center to the Music Builds tour. Switchfoot (my second favorite band), Third Day, Robert Randolph, and Jars of Clay (my favorite band) all shared one stage. Wow. I highly recommend that everyone go to a high-energy concert with guitars and drums blaring and thousands of people fired up

Leave the Dishes in the Sink

2008-08-22T11:33:00.003-04:00

I am a collector of fine books on the Christian religion. I have quite a few in my section on biblical spouse roles. My wife has read about all of them, and I've read through them as well. While teaching on spouse roles has its place, and I recommend books like them at times, I think there is a hidden danger in them. Often, the role of a Christian wife is portrayed as nothing less than Super-mom

We are the Lord's

2008-08-21T10:04:00.005-04:00

"Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls. And he will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make him stand.... For none of us lives to himself, and none of us dies to himself. If we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord's.... So then each of us will

Her Happiness Gives Joy to Me

2008-07-08T20:39:00.004-04:00

Today I was riding home with some friends when one of them asked me, "Do you have days where you just can't wait to get home and see your wife, like more than usual?" As I thought more about it, it dawned on me that my answer has to be, "No." I am pretty much equally excited every day to see my lovely wife. It just so happens that my friend's question was asked the day after I broke into my

Legalism Kills Joy

2008-06-07T19:37:00.004-04:00

Here's a little secret that we have a hard time grasping: legalism kills joy. I heard an interesting little teaching today on the radio as I was driving to the store. It really got me thinking. It was some advice for women delivered by a woman concerning getting things done. She spoke of smashing old bananas to make banana bread rather than feeling the guilt of throwing them away and wasting

You Must Love Baseball!

2008-06-03T10:14:00.001-04:00

Okay, so our family is pretty big into baseball, softball and any other game with a ball and bases. Last week I built a batting cage in our yard. Nothing major, just a sixty by ten foot net over a bed of mulch suspended by a large frame. I have a couple pitching machines coming in the mail so I can get out of pitching duties.After we got it up, the neighborhood kids were dying to try it out. One

Before Divorce

2008-05-27T17:22:00.003-04:00

I've come across a tremendous little booklet entitled, Divorce: Before You Say "I Don't" by Lou Priolo. Lou Priolo is director of the Center for Biblical Counseling at Eastwood Presbyterian Church in Montgomery, Alabama. He's a fellow of the National Association of Nouthetic Counselor's (NANC). He's written several other good books that I'd recommend, but if you are on the verge of divorce, or

Can Christ Save Marriages?

2008-05-19T10:16:00.002-04:00

One of the Google searches that directed a reader to this blog was: "Can Christ Save Marriages?" I think this question is one worth asking and answering, especially in our day of flimsy, unstable marriages. I think the best way to answer this question is to break it down by words. So here goes.CAN Christ save marriages?Yes, Christ can save marriages, but that doesn't always mean he will. Can

How Many Moons Orbit the Planet California?

2008-05-16T18:41:00.003-04:00

Albert Mohler has written a great article (as though he could write something other) on the California supreme court's absurd ruling concerning marriage. The ruling calls marriage a "fundamental right" but obviously leaves the definition of marriage open. What if we left other social conventions up to private definition? Who says what the word "consenting" means when it comes to sexuality? Who

167,700,542 Points of Compatibility

2008-05-15T10:15:00.005-04:00

Is compatibility that important? Is the high divorce rate in our society really due to the fact that certain people just aren't meant for each other? I ask this as one who admits to having a "match made in Heaven."Amanda and I have never in over eleven years argued about the toothpaste tube. I am not a roller. I am a do whatever it takes to get some on your brush and throw the messy-nozzled,

Deafening Silence

2008-05-14T09:30:00.002-04:00

We live in a therapeutic society. We tend to measure the value of things by the personal advancement we will receive. For instance, by around eighteen years old, men and women begin the quest to find a career that will bring fulfillment and meaning to their lives. If they choose wrongly, and don't feel fulfilled by their career, they change course in the middle of their lives to another career.

The First Great and Primary Business

2008-05-13T14:56:00.000-04:00

What is the most important thing you have to do today? Do you have a list of things you simply must get accomplished? Many people keep "to do" lists to organize and prioritize their days. I wonder how many lists would begin the way 19th century English minister and orphan champion George Muller's began. "The point is this: I saw more clearly than ever that the first great and primary business to

What Benefit is Loving a Spouse?

2008-05-12T10:17:00.003-04:00

"If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount. But love your enemies, and do good, and

How Deep is Your Love?

2008-05-09T08:37:00.004-04:00

"Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins" (1 Peter 4:8).How does love cover a multitude of sins? Let's look at some examples of common sins in marriage, and how love covers them. We probably sin against our spouse more with our words than any other way. Consider Jack and Jill. Jack went up the hill to fetch a pale of water. He fell down and brought Jill

Love Covers a Multitude of Sins

2008-05-08T08:45:00.003-04:00

"Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins" (1 Peter 4:8). What are the odds that our spouse will never sin against us ever again? If the odds are pretty low, then we desperately need to memorize and meditate on Peter's counsel. What are the odds that we will take something our spouse does as a sin against us even when it might not be? If the odds are

The Pleasure of Praising Amanda

2008-05-03T11:36:00.003-04:00

My wife is away at our church's annual women's retreat. Though it's just two days, it seems like an eternity for a half-witted husband and five young children. We try to do some little thing for her while she's gone (this year I cleaned out the fridge and polished her stainless sink) in addition to making sure she comes home to a clean house. When we woke up this morning, I gave the kids a pep

I'm Back

2008-04-28T20:59:00.003-04:00

Well, the novel is finished, polished, re-polished, and I'm currently searching for a needle in a haystack - I mean a literary agent - to take on a debut novel from a no-name writer. It may never happen, then again, stranger things have happened. I will be posting regularly again on one of my very favorite things, Gospel-centered marriage. Stay tuned.

In Case You're Wondering

2008-02-12T19:52:00.000-05:00

I realize it's been over a month since I've posted anything. I'm not giving up on this blog. Far from it. I have several posts in edit. However, I'm working on a novel. I'm about two-thirds finished with it. It has taken up almost every spare moment. I'll get back to regular posting very soon! In the meantime, strive every day to trust in the Gospel of Jesus Christ more than you strive to

A New Year's Resolution

2008-01-01T19:42:00.000-05:00

I resolve this year to trust in Christ's merit on my behalf more than on my ability to keep resolutions.I resolve this year to trust in Christ's death on my behalf for all the resolutions I've already failed to keep.

This Aint Heaven

2007-12-18T14:26:00.000-05:00

"Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, 'Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people,

When Sinners Say "I Do"

2007-12-10T12:50:00.000-05:00

After reading, reviewing, and responding to the review of Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs, it rejoices my heart that I was able to duct tape my head back together and dive into another book on marriage. This one is totally unlike Love and Respect in that is provocative, yet encouraging. It is simple, yet profound. It is radically Christ-centered which makes it relevant to rebels like

Noel "the Heavenly-minded" Piper

2007-12-08T15:07:00.000-05:00

This is an amazing story. If you want to see theology lived out in the daily drudgery of life, see Noel Piper's recent blog post, I Almost Died.

To Test or Not to Test

2007-12-07T13:40:00.000-05:00

I was listening to the radio while on my way to help out a friend with car trouble this morning. A James Dobson "family minute" came on the air concerning marriage. The premise was that couples needed to spend a lot of time together before they decide to get married. Dr. Dobson pointed out how this was the most important decision in life, and one not to be entered into lightly. He pointed out

A Sweeter Song Than Angels Sing

2007-11-30T10:52:00.000-05:00

I'm preaching through Isaiah 6 this Sunday. What a sublime text of Scripture! For those of us caught up in the muck, mire, and mundane monotony of daily life on messy earth, we desperately need our hearts carried away from that which is fallen to that which is pristine. Isaiah does us this favor. In this text we read the account of Isaiah's call as a prophet. Isaiah is given a vision of the

Challies' Mom on Divorce

2007-11-28T09:04:00.000-05:00

Tim Challies' mom wrote her children an encouragement to stay married, and never allow any doubt to enter their minds.