Is compatibility that important? Is the high divorce rate in our society really due to the fact that certain people just aren't meant for each other? I ask this as one who admits to having a "match made in Heaven."
Amanda and I have never in over eleven years argued about the toothpaste tube. I am not a roller. I am a do whatever it takes to get some on your brush and throw the messy-nozzled, capless tube back in the cabinet to coat the shelf in green goo. I can't imagine having nothing better to do than maintain a well-ordered toothpaste tube. And fortunately for me, neither can Amanda. She doesn't seem to care much either. I gather this by the fact I never open the cabinet to find a neatly rolled tube with a clean nozzle and a cap. So I assume she sees toothpaste the same way I do. But we didn't discuss this before we got married. And we've never discussed it after all these years.
Amanda and I have never had a discussion about the toilet seat. I know of couples who've had knock-down drag-out fights over a little piece of round plastic or wood. We have this kind of understanding that whatever one needs to do to get the toilet ready for use, then do it. It doesn't really matter what condition one finds the seat in. I assume Amanda feels the same way because in over eleven years, we've never had one discussion on how to properly leave the toilet seat after use. We never discussed this before we were married. Perhaps we are just magically compatible. But we never took a test to figure it out. We never really tried to determine if we were, probably because we never really thought it was important.
In my Bible study this week, I found someone incredibly compatible with his wife. And I wasn't really impressed. In fact, this man wasn't just compatible with his one wife, he was compatible with all 700 of his wives and his 300 concubines. His name was Solomon, and he was king of Israel, son of David.
"Now King Solomon loved many foreign women, along with the daughter of Pharaoh: Moabite, Ammonite, Edomite, Sidonian, and Hittite women, from the nations concerning which the Lord had said to the people of Israel, 'You shall not enter into marriage with them, neither shall they with you, for surely they will turn away your heart after their gods.' Solomon clung to these in love" (1 Kings 11:1-2).
Solomon was compatible with his wives. And it wasn't a virtue. What is far more important than compatibility with a wife is compatibility with God. Solomon lived his life for his own pleasure and comfort, and what did it bring him? Headaches. Fortunately, God is so very, very gracious. But the things that happened to the nation of Israel are for our instruction today, so that we won't worship idols as they did. Is your desire for that connectedness, that intimacy that you long for with your spouse, that craving to feel like the world was made for just the two of you really a God-centered, Gospel-driven desire? Or could it be a desire for a "soul-mate" that subtly replaces the only soul-mate God intended - Jesus Christ?